Men, Women, and Worthiness

By: Brene Brown

Brene believes that shame is under most of our struggles with self-worth. She believes that feeling shame is universal for all of us. It shows up differently in our lives but at some level most of us feel that we are not good enough. Her work is designed to help us learn to feel that we are worthy. She believes we have to experience our shame. She says “If we don’t claim shame it claims us”. She compares guilt to shame. According to her, guilt refers to us “doing something bad’ while shame is “we are bad”. We can learn from guilt and not repeat behavior that we were uncomfortable about in the past. Shame on the other hand triggers our feelings of negative self-worth. Women experience shame as rejection, as not being able to do it all, as being an outsider, as not being attractive enough, etc. Men experience shame as being a failure, as being wrong or defective, being soft or weak. A man can’t be afraid or show fear. Shame is usually present underneath anger. Brene wants to help us all with our Journey to worthiness. She would like us to feel that we are enough just the way we are.

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